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Christmas Album

by Randolph's Leap

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Christmas is a conspiracy propagated by The global mainstream media - it’s all a massive lie I’m sick of so-called experts trying to tell me how to live But I will not be brainwashed and I will not forgive The governments, corrupt elites, gangsters in smart suits I know Bill Gates and Santa Claus are surely in cahoots Do they know it’s Christmas? So asked the famous song But do WE know it’s Christmas or have they faked it all along? Do we even know it’s winter? I mean, who controls the weather? The crooked “climate scientists”! They’ve been doing it for forever If you need more evidence it’s all a great big hoax Open up your crackers and read those so-called “jokes” They’re so devoid of humour. Most do not make sense It’s clear that they were written by artificial intelligence The first thing you must do is burn your Christmas tree It’s a bugged surveillance system built to spy on you and me We happily transport them into our living rooms As they record our conversations and emit their toxic fumes “Oxygen” they call it! But do your own research “Hoaxygen” I call it. Trust me, do a Google search. I heard this from a friend who has a friend who has a friend Who has a friend who has a friend On whom we can depend He works for M16, he’s deep within the action He says that Christmas and new year are just a big distraction He says there’s no such thing as “years” - they’re a man-made fabrication To control the way we live and maintain our subjugation He says that time is infinite and days and months and years Are simply consequences of planetary spheres Orbiting each other and it’s nothing more than that But here I have to disagree - we know the moon is flat
I don’t care about Santa or reindeer I’m pouring with sweat and my stomach’s in pain, dear There’s a baby in the chimney and an elf in the manger My hallucinatory visions get stranger and stranger I know Christmas songs are meant to be jolly But I’m lying here and I’m off my trolley I know Christmas songs are meant to inspire us But I’m lying here with the norovirus The room starts to spin, I’m out control I stick my head in the bin and out comes my soul I've never felt so sick Please end this quick It’s Christmas and I’m not well It’s Christmas and I’m in hell
Warm Outside 04:30
It's time To dig out the suit Recall where you put Your list and your pen These days The pain in your back Makes it hard to keep track Of the where and the when Mrs Claus harbours fears That over the last few years There were moments when Santa Claus Wasn't sure who he was When he looks at her A cloud thick as reindeer fur Seemed to descend on them And he was a stranger, then He's got a sleigh to ride But baby it's warm outside As the climate's changed But that doesn't seem so strange anymore


released December 12, 2013

'Merry Xmas Everyone'. Written by Slade.

'One More Sleep 'til Christmas' from 'The Muppet Christmas Carol. Written by Paul Williams.

'Last Christmas' from 'Last Christmas/Everything She Wants' single by Wham. Written by George Michael.

'Christmas Eve Can Kill You' by The Everly Brothers. Written by Dennis Linde.

'Jingle Bells'. Written by James Lord Pierpont

'Christmas With The Smurfs' from 'The Smurfs Christmas Party album'. Written by Barry Corbett.

'Just Like Christmas' by Low. Written by Low.

'New Year's Day' by State Broadcasters. Written by Pete MacDonald. From the album, 'Ghosts We Must Carry'.

'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer' by Johnny Marks.

'Silent Night' by Franz Xaver Gruber and Joseph Mohr.

'Walking in the Air (live at Xmas Baubles 2012, The Caves Edinburgh)'. Recorded by Paul Johnston. Written by Howard Blake.


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Randolph's Leap Glasgow

Wonky indie/folk/pop from Adam Ross & pals.



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